32 ETH is currently $95,405 USD
Little Timmy O’Toole, who is 5 and a half is not the best artist according to his Mom Rosie, yep, as part of this story, we followed little Timmy and his parents Rosie and John around for a few days.
His drawings were among a bunch of others, pinned to a classroom wall filled with hand-drawn pictures of cats, dogs, and family members in the West Boston neighborhood of Dover. We noticed his drawing was the one that all the parents looked at, but not for the reasons you might suspect. They were all secretly elbowing each other in the ribs and making a wincing-cringe-face in secret then walking off muttering under their breath “OMG did you see that, we’re so lucky little insert kid’s name can actually draw”.
Little do they know.
But you shouldn’t feel sorry for him. Timmy earns more in a week than most of you earn in a year.
His dad John O’Toole tells us he thought Tim was always more of an athlete, he’d climb trees, play softball, and beat his siblings up John told us. The aim was for Timmy to become a mixed martial artist one day and bring great pride to the O’Toole family from Boston.
Well, enter the world of NFTs. John hadn’t heard of NFTs until recently and tells us “I thought they were by people like that Banksie, I dunno, I guess like I thought maybe he’d crush bricks from walls that his art was on and upload it onto a USB and sell it online, but then I found out that you can’t upload crushed rocks and cement onto the Internet, but hey what do I know”.
John and Rosie, Tims’s Mom and Dad are both newly ordained stay-at-home parents, they realized that after being locked inside for months during the Covid related lockdowns Timmy was gravitating toward art more and more because there was nothing else to do, when he wasn’t smashing his brothers and sisters faces in that is.
“Yeah like I totally had no clue Timmy was gonna make us all this money, I mean, here he was eating dirt and worms one day out in the backyard, and there he is now our little businessman,” said John. “We got him an iPhone so he could take pictures of his dinosaur pictures and we asked his older cousin James to help him put it on the Internet, that’s how it started”.
Little Timmy’s first drawing, the one that his older cousin James had helped him upload to OpenSea sold within the first 24hrs for 32 ETH or $95,405 USD.
Little Timmy calls his drawings “Green Poopy Monsters”.
His drawings depict handicapped dinosaurs that poop rainbows out of all their orifices. Eyes, ears, butts, and everywhere else.
“I draw the poopy dino’s, they make me happy, my dad gets happy too and says I need to go back to my room and keepa drawing more of da poopy dino’s cos he was getting lots of money and we get all the ice cream we want me and my sista and brotha do, purple is the best flavor yuumee”.
Timmy’s dinosaurs have a certain kind of detail that makes them stand out. They really are kind of crappy-looking. There’s an awkwardness to them that makes them unique which is what some NFT professional reviewers are saying is raising the prices.
The dinosaurs are drawn by Timmy with green and brown crayons before he takes to the paper with multi-color felt tips.
“I called dem Green Poopy Monstas cos dey do all da poops and it’s so funny, makes me feel reely gewd”.
How did Timmy’s parents know to get into NFTs though?
Rosie, Tim’s mom explained to us that having worked as a waitress for Hooters, she’d often wait on groups of people from the tech world and that one day when given a really big tip of over $100 she asked the young gentlemen what he did and apparently he’d become a millionaire selling pictures of cow’s.
“So that’s when I had the idea, if this other kid in jeans and a t-shirt, you know I mean, he was just a kid, gawking at my you know what’s, this normal looking dopey kid if he could make a lot of money selling pictures of cows on eBay or whatever, why can’t our little Timmy O’Toole…his dad wants him to get into the UFC in the next few years, but I don’t know how I feel about my little Timmy wearing underwear on TV, that’s kind of sick if you think about it, I’d rather have my little Timme be an artist”.
Today Timmy’s total sales stand at $1.2 Million and there is no end in sight for the 5-year-old.
This article is satire. It was inspired by this piece from Today.com.
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