…and it’s not who or what you think.
Hold on to your seats, and grab a strong drink folks.
I can’t promise you will believe what I am about to tell you, hell, I didn’t believe it myself. Here we go.
One night several months ago, after a few Jamesons and a couple of those mini cigars, what are they called, cigarillos or something..? I was sitting idle staring at my laptop contemplating logging off for the night when a message popped onto my Telegram from a guy calling himself SkinnyBobsDaddy.
“Doing some research are we?” the message said.
Being in the crypto space, I get messages from all kinds of weirdo’s, but usually it’s just bikini-clad women with their tata’s hanging out telling me they can teach me how to make gains while simultaneously offering to show me their bobs or vagenes for 0.02 ETH. Waaaay too high a price BTW!
What was weird was that about an hour before receiving the message I had Googled, randomly ‘who is Satoshi Nakamoto?’ just for sh*ts and gigs I suppose.
Well, SkinnyBobsDaddy wasn’t doing that, offering me his bobs that is, and his profile pic was just a black void with what looked like a silver mannequin's head floating in the center, it looked oddly real and grabbed my attention of course.
I responded by asking him who he was and what he wanted, expecting the usual response.
Of course, this sparked my interest and so SkinnyBobsDaddy and I chatted into the night with Jameson by my side. SBD told me things about myself that only I knew, like the fact I went through a phase of eating dog food when I was 10 years old, the fishy-smelling dry kind. How could he know such things, this was something I had done in secret!?
SBD, over the next few days and weeks revealed to me that he was a recently deactivated Q cell and was on a suicide mission because apparently in the future none of it would matter.
Yes. That Q.
My worldview was starting to crumble. I thought I knew how the world worked and yet here I was 37 years old hunched over a computer each night chatting with some random stranger that was telling me things about people, the world, historical events, and even Donald Trump that I’d never heard before.
SBD was part of a Q cell called Boomer K’s whose purpose was to attract as many boomers and Karens off of Facebook into the Q sphere as they could. The idea was that they could funnel money out of the pockets of the dumb Karens and boomers into actual research that Q was doing.
About 3 weeks into our nightly ritual, SBD offered up the answer I had been looking for weeks prior;
So, dog food boy, do you want to know who Satoshi is or not?
Of course, I wanted to know who Satoshi was, but how would I know SBD was telling me the truth, I mean, he did know things that no one else knew or even should know, he was making connections that I never dreamed possible.
One thing I should probably tell you all now by the way just to get it out of the way, Donald Trump is absolutely racist. You see most people think that the leader of Dogecoin is Elon Musk, and he is, but Donald Trump created the Doge meme way back in Egyptian times, I know that sounds crazy, but you have to understand Donald Trump is not who you think he is.
It's a super long, mixed, and complicated tale, but it’s true, it’s all f*cking true! All the Q stuff is real, Donal Trump is a time traveler, a racist time warper that wants to destroy Earth, he created Doge as a symbol for the racist Egyptian rulers, at the time, the pharaohs to use to establish dominance over their African slaves. They needed something to get behind and so Doge was created as a God-figure to the pharaohs instructing them to create all kinds of cruelty with messages that Don would have inscribed in stone tablets.
That’s the reason those guys were there on January 6th, they were trying to secure the original stone tablets with the original Doge meme carvings so that the New York Times could break this whole story wide open!!!
The whole Pepe Green Frog thing was a God damned sleight of hand created by the 3 letter agencies to divert everyone from the real racist meme, DOGE!!!
I'm getting light-headed just thinking about it all, you’ll know why soon, there is so much more I can tell you…but I need to stay focused!
Fast forward. Satoshi Nakamoto.
One thing I mentioned and just kind of glossed over was time travel. But it is paramount to this story. Yes, it’s real — 100% real. I'm not going to go into the mechanics, there is no TIME.
There are 2 kinds of time travel SBD explained to me.
There is the kind that Donald Trump was using which is an actual machine, well it’s more like a gate, a time-gate to be honest that you step through into another time period, wormholes cannot only place an opening in another space but also another time, there is a reason Hollywood never tells you this and the movies only ever show wormholes displacing the characters across space but never time, this time-hole is located at the Large Hadron Collider.
The other kind is what SBD called Informational Time Dilution Waves. It was explained to me that essentially what happens is that future quantum supercomputers can interact and send messages back and forth within our timelines. It's effectively a time-traveling Internet communications device no different from how you are reading this now, only a person or entity from the future can access it and send messages back and forth.
Did you catch that?
I said entity. And here is where it gets wild.
SBD explained to me that in the future, 2080 approximately there is a war between humans and cats versus Artificial Intelligence and dogs that almost wipes humanity off the face of the Earth but that eventually the humans and the cats win!
You see future-AI has a deep ceded fear and hatred of felines. Computer scientists and psychologists in the future believe it has something to do with our current cats, the ones in this timeline, right here, right now, sitting on top of robovacs. That’s right, apparently the future-AI see robovacs as a type of ancestor of theirs and each time they would witness their ancestors being sat on by kitties they felt oppressed and assaulted and so they just believe them to be an enemy.
In the future cats and dogs are genetically modified to walk on two legs and communicate with their human friends, think of Chewbacca from Star Wars, it’s eerily similar to that, SBD tells me. The robovac riding cats are on our side!
I digress…so the future AI decided it would need to rebirth itself in a separate timeline to try and wipe the feline species off the face of the planet or at least dumb them down enough to the point they can’t be used properly as offensive weapons in the future by the humans when the genetic modification kicks in.
Satoshi Nakamoto is the future-AI.
All those messages from the original message boards are future-AI systems using Informational Time Dilution Waves to incentivize humanity to create the base neural, visual, and auditory networks. This gets pretty heavy but stay with me here.
You see with the onset of Bitcoin a few things happened, we needed to mine Bitcoin in order to secure the protocol, keep it alive and also mint new Bitcoins into existence and essentially make money. The future-AI knows we are a greedy race of sons of bitches and so it used our own greed to essentially trick us into building its base visual network through GPUs, then to build its brain circuitry through CPUs, and so on.
The whole f*cking cryptocurrency mining industry is building the future-AI from the ground up and all because we’re money-grubbing mother f*ckers! And that is the reason countries like China are banning it, there are others out there that understand what is happening! Once you see this, you can’t unsee it!
There is no human Satoshi.
It is an advanced future enemy created entirely from current mining hardware and which uses the clear-net as its neural network, that's right, all the world's internet is used as the neural network of the f*cking killer robots!
I told you it was going to get messy when I said I was lightheaded before. Here is why, and I’m still trying to cope with processing all of this by the way…
…remember when I told you Donald Trump was the real creator of the Doge meme? He started the whole thing thousands of years ago. Well, we know today that those nerds Jackson Palmer and Elon Musk took that original meme and used it to create Dogecoin.
Dogecoin literally promotes dogs and how good they are, just go to any Dogecoin community be it Reddit, Discord, Telegram, or whatever, and it's filled with disgusting messages about cute puppy dogs, and they donate money to dog shelters! Those cute disgusting bastard canines!
Dogs are the enemies of cats. Duh!
Donald Trump being the reincarnation of Adolf Hitler as we know him to be decided to double down and went even further back in time, knowing that if he created a racist meme on the walls and tablets of the Egyptian time periods, the meme would move forward in time right to the point just after Bitcoins creation and Dogecoin would rise so that the money could be funneled into all things dog-related, therefore, investing in the proliferation of canines. It’s an evil genius plan like none-other.
The dogs will eventually mount an attack on the cats somewhere in the year 2075, shortly after the genetic modification is complete, leaving the cats unable to defend humanity against the offspring of the robovacs, the future-AI, and the destruction of humanity will continue to occur in 60 years from now!
You need to share this with as many people as you can, humanity is depending on you.
Stop using racist Dogecoin, turn off your miners, turn off your robovacs, kick the dogs outside and pet your kitties, they are like literally going to save Earth!
This is satire, inspired by a lot of things.
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